I wouldn't mind it if...

Why can't I get over this???

I've spent much of tonight at work fighting tears. I figured if I just let Pandora play, I wouldn't have to worry about running into songs that remind me of him. But I did anyway.

I just want to feel right again. I want to love someone the way I love him. I want him. But I'm still waiting. And it hurts so badly. I don't want to hurt like this.

I wish I knew what to do. I used to know. I know what I would tell other people to do. But that doesn't mean I will take my own advice. It's like I'm a glutton for punishment.

I had my new student orientation yesterday. I'm finally starting a degree program focusing on something that I will actually enjoy. It's almost as much a pursuit of a goal as it is a pursuit of a distraction. I'm ready for it.

I'm going to see Muse in March, then immediately flying to Los Angeles for a few days, then coming home to see John Mayer...twice...I'm ready for March...it's my 'vacation' of sorts. Maybe this will be another thing to take my mind off of how I feel.

I hate that I complain so much. But I don't hate that I miss him.