Dreaming My Dreams...

Every Christmas, I think about us. I think about what we would be. What I hope we will be one day.

I think about our dreams and our hopes and our goals.

I think about us.

I think about all of the things we were becoming.

I think about all of the things that we are becoming while we're apart.

We used to talk about adopting. How we wanted children of our own, but couldn't imagine life without having adopted, too.

We used to talk about your goals, and my goals, and where they were going to take us.

We'd talk about you coming here for a year.

We talked about the things we were scared of and the things we couldn't wait for.

We talked about love. How we were only able to make it through the day because we knew that we'd talk to each other at some point during the day. How you were my strength when my parents divorced, and I was your support when your mother passed away. We'd talk about Jane Austen, and our storybook romance. We'd talk about how our love seemed to change and grow everyday. We'd talk about learning each other completely.

And we did. There has been no one that has known me better than you. And I learned how you wanted to be loved as if you were my only heartbeat. Everything I desired, you provided. You were my dream come true. I was your June.

I don't know what happened along the way...where we got separated, or why. All I know is that the deepest parts of my heart ache for you every single day. My ears hear your voice when you're not there. My heart races at the thought of your arms around me. All I know is that somewhere in the world, you're guarding my heart from everything that tries to break it. All I know is that, the longer I wait, the more certain I am that I should be.

I don't know if you'll ever come back to me. I don't know what God's plan is. I don't know if we had our chance and lost it, or if we were introduced only to become the greatest love story ever told. I don't know where you are, or if you still think of me.

All I know is that you were made for me. You are my soulmate and the love of my life. You are my only. You always have been.

All I know is that every Christmas I wait by the door, hoping that when I open it, you'll be the one on the other side.

All I know is that, someday, you will be.



I love you, Braydon. I have been yours since the day I was born. I've known I was yours since the day that we met. And I know that you'll claim me as yours the day you look into my eyes for the first time. That day will be the end. The end of life as we know it. The end of life without each other. The beginning of what we are meant for.


All I know is that, someday, you will be on the other side of that door. I can't help hoping that someday is today...